Love of God, Neighbor, and Self: The Foundation of Recovery
Our shared way of life is a collection of practices, rhythms, and postures that shape our lives in a particular way that will nurture and support us as we seek to be faithful to the unique things that God is calling us to. Following Jesus isn’t about adding more to our to-do list — it’s about living in a way that actually gives us life. We’ll each find our own ways of doing this — ways that feel natural, life-giving, and good for our souls. Over time, these core practices shape us, not just into better people, but into the people God dreamed us to be.
Loving God, neighbor, and self is a practice in our shared way of life.
Love of God, Neighbor, and Self: The Foundation of Recovery
Love is at the heart of everything Jesus taught. When asked what the greatest commandment was, He answered with two:
"‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’" (Matthew 22:37-39)
Jesus made it clear that love is the foundation of a healthy, whole life. But for many in recovery, love has been complicated. Some of us have struggled to believe that God truly loves us. Some of us have given everything to others while neglecting ourselves. Some of us have been hurt by love that was conditional or manipulative.
Healing begins when we experience the kind of love that Jesus offers. His love is not based on what we do or how well we perform. It is steady, unshaken by our past, and strong enough to hold us through every step of recovery.
Receiving God’s Love Transforms Us
Many of us have spent years believing we are unworthy of love. Addiction, shame, and brokenness have convinced us that we have to earn love or that we will never truly belong. But Scripture tells a different story.
Paul writes in Romans 8:38-39:
"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love."
Nothing we have done, and nothing that has been done to us, can take away the love of God. When we truly receive that love, it begins to heal the deepest wounds inside us.
Self-Compassion is Part of Healing
Jesus said to love our neighbors as ourselves. But what happens when we do not know how to love ourselves?
Many people in recovery struggle with self-hatred. We carry guilt for past mistakes. We hear the voice of shame telling us we are not good enough. But God’s love invites us to a different way of thinking.
In Psalm 103:10-12, we are reminded:
"He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west."
If God does not hold our past against us, then why do we keep punishing ourselves? Self-compassion is not selfish. It is an act of trust in God’s grace. When we learn to extend love and kindness to ourselves, we become stronger, healthier, and better able to love others well.
Loving Others Without Enabling
Loving our neighbors does not mean we allow unhealthy relationships to continue unchecked. Many of us have been caught in cycles of codependency, mistaking enabling for love. True love does not ignore harmful behavior. It seeks what is best, even when that means setting boundaries.
In Proverbs 4:23, we are told:
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."
Loving others well means knowing where our responsibility ends. We cannot fix or save anyone, but we can walk with them in love while allowing them to take ownership of their own healing.
Embracing Love as a Way of Life
If we want to build a life that is truly rooted in love, here are some steps to take:
Receive God’s Love – Spend time in Scripture and prayer, asking God to help you believe the truth that you are loved just as you are.
Speak to Yourself with Kindness – Pay attention to your inner voice. Replace shame and criticism with grace and encouragement.
Love Others from a Place of Wholeness – Let love be about presence, not control. Support people in healthy ways without sacrificing your own well-being.
Set Healthy Boundaries – Know when to say yes and when to say no. Boundaries are not selfish; they help relationships grow in honesty and respect.
An Invitation to Love Fully
God’s love is the foundation of true healing. When we are rooted in His love, we learn to love ourselves and others in ways that bring life instead of pain.
Where is God inviting you to receive His love more deeply? What would it look like to love yourself with the same grace you offer others?
Whatever step you take next, remember this. You are already deeply loved, and nothing can change that.
